Pacific Ocean Water Makeup
Notes Blonde Experiment: Releasing Self Concept to find freedom
The experiment began in a circle of spiritual warriors. The question I put to it was: "What mask or persona would be most difficult for you to enter? What image do you want never wanted to portray? Who do you most outside of yourself judge? "
In an independent, rebellious, struggling artist, I heard, "Becoming a business man wear a suit and tie everyday and have a lot of money." From a butch, lesbian male was comfortable, shave my legs and wear dresses and makeup. "A successful business woman replied:" Being a person the street, unkempt and dirty. "My response was:" Be a stereotypical crazy, sexy blonde. "
My image of myself as a serious illness, spiritual master consciousness does not jive with things culturally considered fair: Silly, sexy, playful and seductive. The only thought of this energy is associated with me makes me shiver. In my mind I was gracious, intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate, confidence, and gratifying. With my long brown hair and slightly baggy clothes, I felt safe and acceptable.
It was a comfort dangerous I have visited. Whenever we settle into our masks, no matter how much we believe they are watching, we reject another part of ourselves. I broken masks before, and knew the tremendous energy we save when we walk straight into our fears with open eyes.
Several years ago, I have moved from a ruin, a trailer, the water does not flow in the middle of a huge ranch for a small apartment in Hong Kong. This huge apartment complex, if I lived with my parents, staying at least ten times as many people as I left the city. My goal: to pass form a young, politically active, independent rebel mature age, a businesswoman who work hard. It was just for the summer mind you. I wanted to pay my debt, and I was curious if I could pull this off undercover operation. I recognized that I stood on the ordinary world, for fear of losing my center, somehow to be assimilated. And I knew that the only way through.
In terms of Hong Kong, I started a list of all the people I interact with recall over the last twelve years in my college town: my dearest friends, lovers, teachers, students, acquaintances, even people whose names I had long forgotten. More than four hundred names filled my diary when I finished the list. Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, I started summarizing the top of my list. One by one, I send love and gratitude to each person's breathing back all the energy I had lost, releasing all the energy I had taken on. When I arrived fifteen hours later, I was ready to create a new dream.
I shaved my legs, cut my hair, borrowed some costumes my sister, and got a job reconcile stocks and bonds Lehman Brothers Investment Corporation. I knew nothing about stocks and bonds. I felt funny wearing a costume. But I was determined to engage in this new mask, I dreaded. I worked 12-17 hours a day often striking lunch and dinner at McDonald's. I loved it. I felt liberated from my past. I returned to the United States with a new confidence and sense of unlimited possibilities.
Over ten years later, on another important experience, I went blonde. My mission: a once again break my limited self-concept and not willingly in what I thought best. It took me months to build up my nerve to go against the fears and agreements: "It will ruin my hair. I have a new group of apprentices in the future, I can not be blonde and sexy. It is not necessary, anyway. "But once I felt fear, it was too late, I knew it was done.
The transformation took seven hours, my hair went from brown, pink-orange and, finally, platinum blonde. I went to the hairdresser, magically drawn to the light fields of gold oat straw in the sun outside my window. I felt filled with golden light, my hair blond in communion with all things gold and fill every cell of my body with sunlight. The Secret Life of the mystic blonde was very excited about the opportunity. The light sun, golden hills, and long golden hair has opened to a new level of awareness and deep connection with the golden light honey internally.
But more often than not, during the fair experience I cringed when I looked in the mirror my new me. I felt embarrassed. I was wrong, too sensitive, too strong. I wanted to be quiet and respectable again. And yet, I continued looking at the fears and doubts and judgments that have been raised, I remember: "It does not matter what the outside looks like, how people perceive you. All that matters is your pride, your connection to the divine will, your connection to the wisdom of the world natural. "
The results of the experiment were fabulous unexpected link mystical disconnect my needs the approval levels I was not even aware, sincere smiles dolled up, like Hollywood blondes false that I once held fiercely, a new meaning to the playful and joy stupid publication of my need to be considered a spiritual master and respectful to come in my true nature, step more fully live inside, not outside of in.
I got my inner blonde.
About the Author
Heather Ash Amara weaves powerful practices of shamanic traditions to help people reach their potential. She apprenticed and taught extensively with Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. She wrote Four Elements of Change and founded the Toltec Center for Creative Intent. She runs Spiritual Integrity Coaching with Raven Smith. Read more bold experiments from Heather Ash.
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